We know that laughter triggers healthy physical and emotional changes in the body. That’s why we include random funnies from around town and around the internet… these should give you that smiling boost you’re looking for.
I love talking to myself. She gets me.
Does anyone know how long you can put chicken in the freezer? I put one in last night and it was dead this morning.
Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever had a really good pen? Just the right ink output, perfect girth, extreme smoothness against paper…
I’m never eating an edible again! I watched a whole movie on mute and started crying because I thought I was deaf.
I explained to my daughter that when Netflix started they used to send you DVDs.
Six-year-old: (old lady voice) “You know, back in my day, the internet used to come in the mail.”
Seeking one night stand… Possibly two because I have two lamps.
I weigh myself fully naked. If you don’t like it, go to a different Publix.
If you think you are smarter than the previous generation… 50 years ago the owner’s manual of a car showed you how to adjust the valves. Today it warns you not to drink the contents of the battery.
Did you know you can skydive without a parachute… but only once.
My age is news to me every single time I remember.
You know you’re old when you clean to the music you used to drink to.
Some things are better left unsaid. Unfortunately, I usually realize this after saying them.
Q: What two signs created you? A: Two red flags.
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbit says, “I might be a typo.”
I envy people who grow old gracefully. They age like a fine wine. I’m aging like milk… getting sour and chunky.
36 years old and I’ve finally done it! I have officially finished a tube of ChapStick. #lifegoals
I yelled “COW!” to a woman on a bicycle, and she gave me the finger. Then she plowed her bike right into the cow…. I tried.
I had a happy childhood. My Dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills. Those were Goodyears.
What did the mermaid use to wash her fins? Tide.
No, you haven’t gained that much weight during the pandemic. Come on… chin up! No… the other one.
A burglar broke into our house last night. I didn’t shoot him. I just put the red laser dot on his forehead. Our three cats did the rest.
I don’t mean to brag, but cashiers are always checking me out.
My girlfriend has a cheddar cheese addiction… Luckily it’s only mild.
When chickens communicate, do they use foul language?
I switched all the labels on my wife’s spice rack. I’m not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
Can anyone tell me what concise means? Please keep it short, brief, and to the point.
We just had a guy come into the auto parts store asking if we sold longer dipsticks because his doesn’t reach the oil anymore.
I just fired myself from cleaning my hose. I didn’t like my attitude… and I got caught drinking on the job.
Every time I write “Wednesday,” there’s a voice in my head that says, “Wed-Nes-Day.”
I just read a list of 100 things you should do before you die. I’m surprised “yell for help” wasn’t one of them.
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch. Yeti never complains.
A true love story: From “In Love” to “Blocked.”
